Which is more important, What you say - Or How you say it?

Have you ever wondered why some folks can easily convince others while some struggle to get their point across? 

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Or why some speakers can keep an audience engaged while others make them bored? And why certain messages inspire action, while others get ignored?

The key lies in how you convey your ideas, not just what you convey. In simpler terms, how you say something matters more than what you say.

In this blog post, we'll explore why this is the case and how you can improve your communication skills by focusing on how you express yourself, rather than the content itself.

Why How You Say It Matters More Than What You Say.

Communication isn't just about passing information from one person to another. It's also about forming a connection, building trust, and influencing behavior. 

To do that, consider how your words affect the emotions, thoughts, and actions of your listeners or readers.

According to a well-known study by UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian, communication consists of three parts: words, tone of voice, and body language. 

He discovered that when these elements don't match, people rely more on non-verbal cues (tone and body language) than the actual words to understand the message. 

He estimated that words account for just 7% of a message's meaning, while tone accounts for 38%, and body language makes up 55%.

This means how you say something can change the meaning of what you say. For example, think about someone saying "I love you" to you in three different ways:

- With a warm smile, a gentle voice, and a soft hug.

- With a mocking smile, a harsh voice, and a dismissive gesture.

- With a blank expression, a flat voice, and no eye contact.

All three times, they used the same words. But the way they said it made all the difference.

Of course, this doesn't mean words are unimportant. Words are still the foundation of communication and must be clear, accurate, and relevant. However, words alone aren't enough to convey your message effectively. Pay attention to how you deliver your words and how they match your intention and your audience's expectations.

How to Improve How You Say Things.

Now, let's talk about how you can get better at expressing yourself to make your communication more effective:

1. Understand Your Purpose and Audience:

Before you say anything, think about why you're speaking or writing and who you're addressing. 

What's your message's goal? What do your listeners or readers need to know? How do they prefer to receive information? 

How do you want them to feel or act after hearing or reading your message? These questions will help you tailor your message appropriately.

2. Choose Your Words Wisely: 

Words are powerful. They can evoke emotions, create mental images, trigger associations, and influence decisions. 

So, use simple and familiar words that your audience can easily grasp. Avoid jargon, slang, acronyms, and technical terms that might confuse or alienate them. 

Opt for positive and active words to convey confidence and enthusiasm. Steer clear of negative and passive words that hint at doubt or weakness.

3. Utilize Stories and Examples: 

Stories and examples are excellent tools for illustrating your points, capturing your audience's attention, and appealing to their emotions. 

They make your message more memorable and relatable. So, use stories and examples whenever possible to support your arguments, clarify complex concepts, or share personal experiences. 

Ensure your stories and examples are relevant, believable, and concise.

4. Vary Your Tone and Pace: 

Tone and pace are crucial aspects of how you express yourself. They convey your attitude, emotion, and interest in the topic and your audience. 

Therefore, adjust your tone and pace to suit the situation and message. Use a friendly and conversational tone to build rapport and trust. Employ a confident and authoritative tone to establish credibility and leadership. 

When you want to inspire action and motivation, let your passion shine through. When you need to reassure or comfort your audience, adopt a calm and soothing tone. 

Speed up your pace to convey urgency or excitement, and slow down to emphasize importance or seriousness.

5. Incorporate Body Language and Gestures:

Body language and gestures are another vital part of how you express yourself. They can reinforce your words, convey your feelings, and establish a connection with your audience. 

Use eye contact to show interest and attention. Let your facial expressions mirror your emotions and empathy. 

Utilize hand gestures to emphasize or clarify your points. Employ posture and movement to exhibit confidence and energy.

In Conclusion: It's About How You Express Yourself.

Communication isn't merely about what you say; it's about how you say it. The way you express yourself can either amplify or diminish your message and influence how your audience perceives and responds to you. So, focus on how you convey your ideas, not just the content. By following these tips, you can enhance your communication skills and make your message more impactful and compelling.